What we Know, Owns Us.

The knowledge that we have owned us, even though it may seem that there is nothing of us to be owned. Every thing ever imbibed is now what has defined every aspect of what we call me. It IS me. All of it. A few minutes ago I was sorting through my assumptions, when a stray thought came to me and carried me away. The stray thought continued for about 10 minutes before I realized. Even now, my psyche is haunted. I know who those things and people are. I would mention them here, hadn't I be concerned of the repercussions.

I am owned by the things I read and the things I entertain.

It owned me completely. Let me not have a fragment if doubt about this. There is no me apart from it. And I am writing out of a dissatisfaction. The dissatisfaction my be about the very fact that I am stating. There is no way of getting away with the fact though.

Even my so-called desires are from the crap I put in. What animated this Huzefa Saifee, what motivates this character, is part of the pointless crap he does. The ambitious is just an extrapolation of the pointless. So jerking off is pointless, and going to the gym and consuming supplements is pointless and being a carrier person or a businessman ... It all pointless... An extrapolation of jerking off... Long term, responsible jerking off anyone? The kind of jerking off society approves of? YEAH!!!

There is an inherent madness, that does not cease. The ghosts are overwhelming. It is like the game of pinball, the ball just keeps bouncing on the walls. It is literally everywhere I go. Whatever is in my head, they are all there.

The glare. It is like Sauron's eye that kept looking at the wearer of the ring. The eye looks, and substantiates what it looks at. But if there were no eye, there would be nothing. Except, in my case the one eye manifests in a myriad different formats. The eyes keep watching and substantiating me, and in return, I substantiate them. I'm the end, it is I who am doing all the substantiating.

So, I repeat, my knowledge owns me. Those who claimed to be my owners, said that my intentions are more substantial than my actual acts. There are no such things as my intentions. You are inserting intentions into me, and if I do it, I have put you in me, and if I don't do it, I have put you into me still stronger.

That's all I feel like saying.