At Santacruz Station

When I would travel to Babasaheb Gawde Institute, during my diploma days, I would often overhear conversations of people on the trains during my daily commute to Bombay Central from Vile Parle. I never failed to feel a good amount of familiarity with the way people spoke. Each dialogue, each nuance, response, greeting, jargon was so generic, it was as if all people are substitutes of each other. They watch the same movies and TV series, read the same news, eat similar food and have common ethics. So off course, they, and I, are almost the same.

"oye kitna padha!..... lag gayi yaar,,,,"

"to tune kya bola usko?"

"What's up man, dikh nai raha he, kaha he tu?"

and so on.... you get the idea.

And I noticed the same thing on the days I would walk back from Carter Road to Bandra Station with passers by speaking loudly on their cell phones.

The 24th of April saw the first viva of the final internal examination of the B.E. degree course in CS. That day, the viva got over rather quickly, so I was happy that I would be able to attend the Friday prayer at Santacruz's mosque after a rather long gap. So I left college and walked towards Bandra Station, as usual, and boarded an Andheri train which was cozily empty. It was hot as ever, summer was showing it's rage, but something about the slow pace of things in that day, kept me calm and pleasant.

The previous few days were hectic, stressful and bitter-sweet. I had just finished all submissions and my project was functional. The report was yet to be printed but it was approved by our rather demanding guide. I had fallen for a girl who had just recently rejected/friend-zoned/God-knows-what me. And my college days were getting over. Gloomy, you know.

But the gloom was in the background as I was early today and would reach before time at the mosque. The mosque, is a sanctuary of calm, and never fails to put my issues aside.

The train chugged forward and just before Santacruz's platform arrived, it came to a halt. A few minutes went by, then the passengers started leaning out to see why the train had stopped. I had all the time, so I waited patiently.

Meanwhile, a crowd gathered on the southern-most walkover bridge. The passengers were getting agitated and leaning further and further, until a few people jumped out on the gravel. It seemed, someone had died by the train's impact.

A few boy's alighted, and announced: "Oye mar gaya oye!!! KHATAM !!!"

Usually, I don't pay attention to such things, but that day, I was considering the possibility of being OK with the whole idea of dying. Usually, I don't even stand on the doorway. I value my life more than most people. But that Friday afternoon, something was different.

I said to myself that I needed to see this dead man. For some reason, I felt a strong urge. Plus, I said to myself, that my life was useless anyway. So I risked all my cherished values and safety measures and jumped on the gravel and started walking towards the platform besides which the incident had taken place.

I jumped down when horns form trains started honking loudly from all directions with great surround-sound effects. Walking on tracks is scary, A police person, started blowing his whistle at me and the others on the gravel. Thankfully, he didn't bother us any further.

I reached the platform and saw the casualty from there. His head was crushed from the center up-till the lower jaw, the teeth of which were clearly exposed. Inside the skull, it was like minced meat. The shirt had a few bloodstains but was normal otherwise. A few sluggish, gooey, lumps of meat with a few dangling fibres were on the tracks. The police person was taking notes while the railway personnel had put him on a stretcher and were nudging his slightly overweight body, which helplessly shook, his hands dangling in the scorching sunlight. I was standing there, mesmerized by the whole beauty of this.

I thought it would be an unpleasant for me to be lying on the tracks in such heat and sun light. But then again, it also would be pretty unpleasant to have my head dissected till my lower jaw.

A few railway men, picked up all the meat and threw it on the stretcher. A crowd on the bridge hadn't left. I was surrounded by women waiting for their "lady's compartment", who were all busy texting. I stood there nevertheless, thinking about the dead guy in front of me. I thought that this guy would be so regular, no one would otherwise take notice. It would be the same person saying things like "What's up man! Long time!!!" if you'd happened to know him.

That guy, was for all intents and purpose, all of us.

More specifically, this guy was me.

I stood there as I felt the void engulfed me. Everything about my life felt so small. All my worries, opinions, likings, everything seemed, so fucking stupid. All issues I was facing, suddenly felt like basic bullshit. Wow.

A few minutes later I walked up. I saw the crowd was still there. Now I knew why they were standing, Maybe deep down, they know, but they don't realize it.

I went to the mosque where a melodious hymn of salawaat was being sung in a deep baritone as I felt steeped in gratitude for having died. Ironically, I was breathing.

Spiritual Autolysis

26th April, 2015.

Autolysis means self eating in biology(some microbes eat themselves to survive). I got the concept from Jed McKenna's books, mainly "Spiritual enlightenment: The Danmdest thing",

What we do in it is, the way I understand it is:

1. Shut up.
2. Sit down.
3. Write about what is bothering you at present.
4. Question it's validity, trueness and beliefs that lead to the discomfort.
5. Keep doing this.

This, according to Jed McKenna, would lead to the destroying of false beliefs and ultimately the self we have built around those beliefs.

I am pretty convinced it'll work. This makes sense to me.

I am doing this today on. I'll keep updating this post itself every now and then, to mention my progress, or lack of it.

Done.

Avoiding the Nerves

This is a list of handy tools and methods to get rid of stress and jittery nerves. Basically a very simple set of hacks that if done regularly will assuredly give the subject(haha) a sense of general well-being.

In making this list I have made sure that,

1. The thing to be done is simple, requires minimal effort.
2. It's in good taste.

In doing so, I have looked at many sources on how to effectively change the hormones in one's body. Mostly, this list is for my own use. That's because these things work.

#1. Always have a handkerchief

A gentleman without a kerchief is a warrior without his weapon. Always, ALWAYS carry. I learn my lessons the hard way. What happens when your nose is stuffy bang in the middle of a social situation and you can't leave. Say, like a lecture or something.

All that aside, the kerchief's presence makes us use it when we wouldn't feel it's need if it weren't there. It feels good.

#2. Go to the loo more often.

Even if you don't feel the urge, give it a shot. More often than not, something does materialize.

#3. Wear nice shoes

It helps keep the body stable. I have learnt that the ideal shoes should have the bare minimal cushioning. Much like the canvas shoes we wore at school.

Ditch the sandals or slippers. In the hours to follow, it's never really worth it.

#4. Don't read

The news. Or anything. Unless it's truly important. Especially in the morning.

#5. Get rid of  the Internet

Social media is a killer of good mood. In saying this, I'm not speaking merely from my observations, but is backed by much independent research.

Email, is full of crap.

Porn is, well... porn.

All of this feels good whilst being done. But it does get on ones nerves, even if one's not necessarily aware of it

#6. Do Nothing

Nothing good can possibly happen while one's not up to it, Do what you're best at doing: nothing.

This is not procrastination. Remember, nothing was going to happen anyway.

Remove yourself from the world. It still turns.

#7. Go to a friends house

It's like vagabonding, except on a much smaller scale.

#8. Avoid toxic people

This is easier said than done. You know a person is toxic when they sap enthusiasm out like a leech. I try to be as ruthless as I can, in avoiding them.

#9. Drink tea

The warmth!

#10. Rearrange stuff

Put the house in order or organize documents. It gives an instant sense of accomplishment, so it feels very good.

#11. Don't write articles like this one. Ever.

Birds, beards, exams, cuss-words, etc.

Immortality

It'd be nice to be young for ever right?

These are a few quick fix and sure fire methods to live a very long life. In no particular order:

Disclaimer: I'm not a medical practitioner. Don't kill yourself by doing something crazy. Even though what I say is, to my knowledge true. Please consult your favorite qualified doctor before doing stuff I say.

1. Bleed

Donating blood one every three months helps regulate the iron levels in the body, specially in men. This goes a long way in keeping bacterial infections in check, avoiding the carcinogenic effects of iron, reducing cell oxidation, reducing the risk of cardiac events and strokes, maintaining insulin sensitivity and earning some good karma.

2. Build muscle

Do this, and earn a life of comfort. Gain confidence, move without pain, feel strong, fall sick less often, eat more still don't grow fat. People with a good layer of muscle just refuse to age.

3. Fast

Certain cells in the body repair their genome only when starved of blood glucose. Intermittant Fasting(IF) is shown to increase the lifespan of lab rats by as much as 15%. Go hungry for 14 hours once a week.

4. Chill

Human beings are the happiest at 13.5 degrees centigrade. Use the AC.

5. Glucosamine + Condroitin 

Steal this from granny's closet and use! These are OTC drugs that are given to people suffering from osteoarthritis, which will naturally happen as you age. Instead of waiting till then, it's a good idea to occasionally supplement on them in a controlled manner. I'm guessing: 3-4 months every 4-5 years should suffice. You judge for yourself though.

6. Fish oil(or Algae oil, for those who can't eat fish)

DHA and EPA are important Omega-3 fatty acids. They help in a thousand different ways. Supplement on this and see the difference in your life. Thank me later. I accept checks and demand drafts too.

7. Creatine Monohydrate

Cause when you live long, it would be nice to have some motor control. 3 grams daily for a month every third month. Again, be you own judge.

8. Meditation

Easier said than done? Definitely. But the benefits are profound. Maybe, one day, I'll follow my own advice :P

9. Use sunscreen

SPF 15(or 30) will keep your skin looking like a school girl when you're well in your 40s. Now, who doesn't like good skin? Make sun protection your daily habit. Water based lotions adhere to the skin better. Get your vitamin D3(chloecalciferol) from oil based capsules instead.

This list is not complete, but I tried to make a concise list of actionable goals rather than abstract things like "eat healthy", "exercise regularly" or "floss you teeth", which, in my experience, makes for good articles but are hardly executable.

And yes, your comments earn you my respect. Thanks.

Black tea

I started my life drinking the standard Indian kind of tea, which is a concoction which is boiled for a long time along with milk and sweetened with sugar.

In one meeting with the in-charge of a local mosque in Santacruz, Mumbai, we were a group of teens then, he advised us not to boil the concoction and rather steep it in the covered vessel. This way, he said, we could avoid the mercury contained in the tea while getting all the good stuff.

I tried this at home with satisfying results, then. My parents quite liked the resultant drink.

One could never think of drinking tea black(sans milk) then. It would be unbelievably bitter. I had tried drinking black tea when in primary school on being insisted by some cruel adults. Frankly, that drink was unworthy of human consumption. I promised myself never to try it again.

Then came the days in which green tea was gaining stardom, circa 2009. Everyday, the newspapers(hash... Mumbai Mirror..) would have a new claim about the almost magical properties of this Chinese way of drinking leaf soup. This didn't fail to douse my curiosity. Often times, I would find myself scanning market shelves for green tea. It was rare then, in our markets.

I'm guessing that at time, researches had nothing better to do than to study tea. Anyway, one day I found myself reading an article about how black tea contains antioxidants and how it is all lost when milk is added to it. Now I knew the idea of drinking tea without milk was not very plesent. I thought, why not steep instead of boil? This way...

So i tried it and added sugar. It was pretty pleasant. And I was hooked. Then on I always made my tea separately apart from my family, who stuck to the old recipe. A few months on, I started putting honey instead of sugar. Later, I stopped sweetening it. No sugar, no honey, plain tea.

Somewhere in the middle, my father got the green leaf. It was pleasent and soothing in it's own right. But the yellow brew had a tinge of sourness. I tried to appreciate it at first, and even succeeded at developing a liking for it. But I realised that I was actually craving black tea very often. When I would get some chai on any off-chance occation or at a resturant or chaiwala stall, I would be relieved and happy. In a few months, I was back to black.

Might I attest to the fact that such a tea habit has contributed to my personal well-being? Yes ma'am. It sure has.

One more thing, steeping tea in water before drinking it is infinately more easier as compared to making kadak chai (boil water, add tea, boil further, add sugar, put milk, boil again). This has simplified my life, considering I drink this about thrice a day.

What do you think? How do you like your tea? Are you into chai masala? Irani tea? Can you make a decent cup?

By the way, coffee sucks.

Beer gut

My belly has been my companion for as long as I can remember. I remember the first time of noticing it being big when I was eight. I had just been eating a meal of rice and yogurt curry, stuffing myself till discomfort. When I stood, my father looked at my swollen gut with amazement. At this, I noticed it too quite pleased with myself.

Time would pass, I don't know the exact time I developed a bulging abdomen, but since then, I don't even remember when i didn't have it. It's always been there.

In my teens, I would hide it with my clothes. People would not notice much, I guess. I would eat less fat and cut down on the butter at breakfast. This would continue for years. But it had negligible effects. Whatever fat I would lose, eventually, I would gain it back. One day in school, when I was about 13, the day in which the mid-term Diwali vacations were over, a teacher tapped my belly approvingly. Many of my friends to did the same throughout the day. It was a clear sign that people were noticing. But I usually did a good job of covering up.

At times I tried yoga, at times I tried belly breathing. I tried jogging a lot. There was never consistency.

About 8 months ago, it had maxed out to the all time high measurement: 37 inches of waist.

Later on, I started exercising hard using the Insanity workout videos. they were challenging, but sadly they didn't make me much fitter. In 2 months, I lost just 1 inch. Later I went on the Slow-Carb-Diet, designed by Tim Ferriss and popularized by his book the 4-Hour Body. This worked wonders. In the past few months I have lost lots of weight. All my pants are now lose. My waist is now 34 inches.

Some time later, I had an epiphany. It's not the fat that makes us fat, but supposedly it is the carbohydrates, which raise the level of insulin an facilitate fat storage. Cutting carbohydrates is very effective for losing stored fat.

But the belly is still there. Off-course, I want to lose what remains of it. let's see what happens. Before Ramzan begins, I want to lose a few kilos of fat and add a few kilos of muscle. Let's see what happens.